Sunday, August 21, 2011
Recovery's Road: Sleep Can Wait
Recovery's Road: Sleep Can Wait: So many moments in life are fleeting. The moments that are my favorite are the snuggles and shared smiles with my darling daughter. The lo...
Sleep Can Wait
So many moments in life are fleeting. The moments that are my favorite are the snuggles and shared smiles with my darling daughter. The love that spills out of her just lights up everything in my life. Her smile makes my heart burst with joy and her little sighs as she sleeps in my arms make my whole body just sink in relaxation and comfort.
Who cares if it's 2am when I hear "mommy, I am having a hard time sleeping!! Will you snuggle in my chair?" Sleep can wait - these moments are going to last forever.
Who cares if it's 2am when I hear "mommy, I am having a hard time sleeping!! Will you snuggle in my chair?" Sleep can wait - these moments are going to last forever.
Friday, August 19, 2011
Parenting and Outbursts
We all know how cathartic it can feel to simply sit and cry when life is completely overwhelming. And those big old belly laughs that you share with friends are totally awesome for the soul too.
So, if crying and screaming and a general breakdown can leave an adult feeling better, then why are we as parents so quick to hush our kids when they are having a melt down?
On the way home from Vermont on Thursday, Alyssa was in such an over-tired state of mind that she became what can only be described as possessed. From the back seat she screamed, cried, demanded, kicked and screamed some more. In the front seat I pondered the best way to handle this purple faced child in the backseat. I could yell at her, but that would just teach her that the right thing to do when you aren't getting your way is to yell - that is if she even heard me. I could pull the car over and spank her, but that didn't seem like a safe plan on the side of the highway.
So, I laughed. I didn't know what else to do. So, there we were driving down the road with a screaming, out-of-control child in the backseat and a laughing mom in the front seat. 35 minutes later, Alyssa fell asleep and I enjoyed the silence.
Sometimes we need to let the emotions out in whatever way we can. Sometimes being a good parent means letting our kids cry and work through it on their own.
So, if crying and screaming and a general breakdown can leave an adult feeling better, then why are we as parents so quick to hush our kids when they are having a melt down?
On the way home from Vermont on Thursday, Alyssa was in such an over-tired state of mind that she became what can only be described as possessed. From the back seat she screamed, cried, demanded, kicked and screamed some more. In the front seat I pondered the best way to handle this purple faced child in the backseat. I could yell at her, but that would just teach her that the right thing to do when you aren't getting your way is to yell - that is if she even heard me. I could pull the car over and spank her, but that didn't seem like a safe plan on the side of the highway.
So, I laughed. I didn't know what else to do. So, there we were driving down the road with a screaming, out-of-control child in the backseat and a laughing mom in the front seat. 35 minutes later, Alyssa fell asleep and I enjoyed the silence.
Sometimes we need to let the emotions out in whatever way we can. Sometimes being a good parent means letting our kids cry and work through it on their own.
Wednesday, August 10, 2011
Scaling the Mountain to Mommy-hood, part 1
Why part 1, you ask? The answer is simple...some mountains are bigger than others and the one I climbed to come a mother was HUGE and the story must be absorbed in pieces.
Brian and I were married in 1999 and knew that we wanted kids. We also knew that we didn't want to have them right away - after all, we still had to finish our final semester of college, find jobs, get used to being married. We didn't have much of a plan, just the idea that waiting a few years would be wise. So we did.
After being married for 4 years, we had gone through me changing jobs, Brian losing a job, moving to Vermont to live WITH my parents. All of these things made us focus on our relationship and getting through these struggles. While living with my parents I felt like we had hit a stride in our life. We were communicating well, paying off debt and looking at our future. In the midst of this we decided that there was never a perfect time for a family. So, now seemed like as good a time as any to start trying. So, in 2003 we decided to start a family. After all, God was in control and He wouldn't give us kids until the time was perfect for us and we were ready for it. So began the journey.
I suppose that you never know if you are going to struggle getting pregnant. At this point I didn't know anyone who struggled with infertility and it certainly wasn't something that many people spoke about. In fact, aside from my doctor talking about it once, it never really came up.
You see, when I was a sophomore in college I had some medical problems that brought me to the doctor. Menstrual cramping that would bring me to my knees and put me in bed for a day. It was ridiculous. After exams, testing and ultrasounds the doctor discovered a growth on my ovary. It was the scariest moment of my life. The ultrasound revealed the growth to have solidity to it, indicating that it would like be malignant. Not something your average 19 year old hears. I had to take a semester off of college to have surgery to remove the growth.
Prayers were in abundance and I felt the reality of miracles in my life for the first time. The surgery went smoothly and the doctors removed 2 growths the size of grapefruits from my left ovary. The miracle? They were fully liquid. Just cysts! Completely benign. It was amazing! Was the ultrasound wrong or did God heal me before the doctors could do their work? I suppose that this is a moment I look back to frequently - as a reminder of God's healing touch.
So, if the growths were simple benign cysts, what kind of concern should there be regarding conception? Well, the ovary was twisted, small and under-developed leaving the doctors uncertain if it was functional. Then there is the scar tissue.
So, knowing this, we decided to put our faith in the Lord and work on starting a family. Little did I know that it was going to be 5 years until I experienced God's next miracle in my life. Here starts the journey down a road so long and over mountains so treacherous that I thought that I was lost sometimes.
Brian and I were married in 1999 and knew that we wanted kids. We also knew that we didn't want to have them right away - after all, we still had to finish our final semester of college, find jobs, get used to being married. We didn't have much of a plan, just the idea that waiting a few years would be wise. So we did.
After being married for 4 years, we had gone through me changing jobs, Brian losing a job, moving to Vermont to live WITH my parents. All of these things made us focus on our relationship and getting through these struggles. While living with my parents I felt like we had hit a stride in our life. We were communicating well, paying off debt and looking at our future. In the midst of this we decided that there was never a perfect time for a family. So, now seemed like as good a time as any to start trying. So, in 2003 we decided to start a family. After all, God was in control and He wouldn't give us kids until the time was perfect for us and we were ready for it. So began the journey.
I suppose that you never know if you are going to struggle getting pregnant. At this point I didn't know anyone who struggled with infertility and it certainly wasn't something that many people spoke about. In fact, aside from my doctor talking about it once, it never really came up.
You see, when I was a sophomore in college I had some medical problems that brought me to the doctor. Menstrual cramping that would bring me to my knees and put me in bed for a day. It was ridiculous. After exams, testing and ultrasounds the doctor discovered a growth on my ovary. It was the scariest moment of my life. The ultrasound revealed the growth to have solidity to it, indicating that it would like be malignant. Not something your average 19 year old hears. I had to take a semester off of college to have surgery to remove the growth.
Prayers were in abundance and I felt the reality of miracles in my life for the first time. The surgery went smoothly and the doctors removed 2 growths the size of grapefruits from my left ovary. The miracle? They were fully liquid. Just cysts! Completely benign. It was amazing! Was the ultrasound wrong or did God heal me before the doctors could do their work? I suppose that this is a moment I look back to frequently - as a reminder of God's healing touch.
So, if the growths were simple benign cysts, what kind of concern should there be regarding conception? Well, the ovary was twisted, small and under-developed leaving the doctors uncertain if it was functional. Then there is the scar tissue.
So, knowing this, we decided to put our faith in the Lord and work on starting a family. Little did I know that it was going to be 5 years until I experienced God's next miracle in my life. Here starts the journey down a road so long and over mountains so treacherous that I thought that I was lost sometimes.
Tuesday, August 9, 2011
What Recovery Means to Me
Having had a half dozen or so surgeries and injuries in my adult life, it is easy for me to focus on recovery simply as a physical thing. Shoulder surgery requiring physical therapy, tonsillectomy requiring quiet time for the painful healing process and not to mention giving birth which is a recovery all its own!!
However, as time has passed, I have learned that recovery is so much more than the process of getting over a physical injury. It is about mental and spiritual health too. In fact, as trying as it seems at the time, recovering physically is a breeze in comparison.
I, like so many, am recovering from so many things. A sense of no purpose, a complicated family dynamic, infertility struggles, eating disorder (yes, over-eating is an eating disorder), medical struggles, spiritual emptiness...so many things that make up who I am and so many things that light my path. Each aspect of life offers an opportunity to grow and learn through recovery.
However, as time has passed, I have learned that recovery is so much more than the process of getting over a physical injury. It is about mental and spiritual health too. In fact, as trying as it seems at the time, recovering physically is a breeze in comparison.
I, like so many, am recovering from so many things. A sense of no purpose, a complicated family dynamic, infertility struggles, eating disorder (yes, over-eating is an eating disorder), medical struggles, spiritual emptiness...so many things that make up who I am and so many things that light my path. Each aspect of life offers an opportunity to grow and learn through recovery.
Thursday, August 4, 2011
Blog from the Beginning
Well, I never thought that I would find myself in the world of blogging. However, here I am - and excited about it at that!
I am a mother, wife, daughter, sister, friend and woman. I have walked the road of life for almost 34 years and have hit plenty of bumps in the road along the way. I have always found the writing is an awesome way to process life and release the crazies from inside my head. It has also always offered perspective for the journey.
In this blog I hope to share many musings about my life. There are hundreds of incredible sights seen along the road, and my life is not without plenty of scrapbook-worthy moments. However, the road also is pitted with potholes, blown tires and empty gas tanks, and I would be remiss to not share those as well. Sometimes great hope can be offered to someone else by just knowing that they aren't the only one stuck on the side of the road.
I am walking the road of life and I am recovering as I go along. I hope that you enjoy the journey with me!
I am a mother, wife, daughter, sister, friend and woman. I have walked the road of life for almost 34 years and have hit plenty of bumps in the road along the way. I have always found the writing is an awesome way to process life and release the crazies from inside my head. It has also always offered perspective for the journey.
In this blog I hope to share many musings about my life. There are hundreds of incredible sights seen along the road, and my life is not without plenty of scrapbook-worthy moments. However, the road also is pitted with potholes, blown tires and empty gas tanks, and I would be remiss to not share those as well. Sometimes great hope can be offered to someone else by just knowing that they aren't the only one stuck on the side of the road.
I am walking the road of life and I am recovering as I go along. I hope that you enjoy the journey with me!
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