Why part 1, you ask? The answer is simple...some mountains are bigger than others and the one I climbed to come a mother was HUGE and the story must be absorbed in pieces.
Brian and I were married in 1999 and knew that we wanted kids. We also knew that we didn't want to have them right away - after all, we still had to finish our final semester of college, find jobs, get used to being married. We didn't have much of a plan, just the idea that waiting a few years would be wise. So we did.
After being married for 4 years, we had gone through me changing jobs, Brian losing a job, moving to Vermont to live WITH my parents. All of these things made us focus on our relationship and getting through these struggles. While living with my parents I felt like we had hit a stride in our life. We were communicating well, paying off debt and looking at our future. In the midst of this we decided that there was never a perfect time for a family. So, now seemed like as good a time as any to start trying. So, in 2003 we decided to start a family. After all, God was in control and He wouldn't give us kids until the time was perfect for us and we were ready for it. So began the journey.
I suppose that you never know if you are going to struggle getting pregnant. At this point I didn't know anyone who struggled with infertility and it certainly wasn't something that many people spoke about. In fact, aside from my doctor talking about it once, it never really came up.
You see, when I was a sophomore in college I had some medical problems that brought me to the doctor. Menstrual cramping that would bring me to my knees and put me in bed for a day. It was ridiculous. After exams, testing and ultrasounds the doctor discovered a growth on my ovary. It was the scariest moment of my life. The ultrasound revealed the growth to have solidity to it, indicating that it would like be malignant. Not something your average 19 year old hears. I had to take a semester off of college to have surgery to remove the growth.
Prayers were in abundance and I felt the reality of miracles in my life for the first time. The surgery went smoothly and the doctors removed 2 growths the size of grapefruits from my left ovary. The miracle? They were fully liquid. Just cysts! Completely benign. It was amazing! Was the ultrasound wrong or did God heal me before the doctors could do their work? I suppose that this is a moment I look back to frequently - as a reminder of God's healing touch.
So, if the growths were simple benign cysts, what kind of concern should there be regarding conception? Well, the ovary was twisted, small and under-developed leaving the doctors uncertain if it was functional. Then there is the scar tissue.
So, knowing this, we decided to put our faith in the Lord and work on starting a family. Little did I know that it was going to be 5 years until I experienced God's next miracle in my life. Here starts the journey down a road so long and over mountains so treacherous that I thought that I was lost sometimes.
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